A Candle in the Wind-V

If she thought she was magically rid of the pain of separation, she was wrong. It would return at the most unexpected times, and break her with greater intensity than before. The initial lift in her mood did not sustain itself. The craving for having Abhinav back in her life returned with more vigour. In every sense, she felt like a drug addict who had been taken off the drug abruptly. She suffered from severe withdrawal reactions and it made her realize how dangerously ‘dependent’ she had become on her relationship with Abhinav.

She hesitated going back to Dr V and opening up, simply because she feared that he would give up on her. But when days went by without progress and she found herself only sinking further, she had no choice but to go back to him. This especially happened when her moments of intense craving and desperation ended in her calling up Abhinav. Like a drug addict, she would seek his companionship. But his response was cold and when he hung up, she would panic in a way that was unbearable. Her panic was so profound that she felt she would rather die than contain that feeling within her. It made her run back to Dr V. But contrary to her fears, he never gave up on her. She couldn’t understand it. All she knew was that it was helping her. That would be an understatement. It saved her life.
Over time, she was less hesitant of seeking help from him. Her mind had learnt to trust him. She felt like a little child, learning to walk with him by her side. He on his part, was persistent and his words were always pearls of wisdom that could only have come from a deep wisdom of life and from an insight into the human mind.
And thus, it went on for a long time. She, Abhinav and him. Her mood swings. Her dependence and impulsivity that would lead her to call Abhinav and beg him to take her back into his life. And he would wound her more each time. This would land her at Dr V’s doorstep, and he would rescue her from her own self. Eventually, there came a point where she started bypassing Abhinav in this loop. Every time she felt impulsive and desperate to talk to Abhinav, she would just turn to Dr V. Her mind had learnt that the warmth and companionship she expected from Abhinav, was coming from Dr V. In the safety and security of the niche he provided for her, she blossomed. In an year’s time, there was no tell-tale evidence of the tragedy that had transpired in her life. She was the picture of happiness and she had managed to come out of her small, solitary world and become part of a larger world, with more people in her life and more meaningful endeavours. This was the first time she had unfurled her personality and connected to people from different walks of life…people who loved her and filled the emotional voids in her life in ways beyond what she could have imagined. Most importantly, she had become better as a human being. From that point on, she had a special reverence for suffering, and she never ignored it. She could leave people alone in their happiness, but she could never walk past their suffering. For this, she was loved the most.

She saw less and less of Dr V. He had taught her to fly and now that she could fly independently, she did not wish to burden him and take up any more of his precious time. But every time she met him, she expressed her deepest gratitude.


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