EXPERIENCING LIFE THROUGH PERCEPTIONS

On Wednesdays, I travel to Perumbadavu, a tiny hamlet located in the hilly periphery of Kannur. The journey through the hills is a journey through fantasy; I feel that I am traveling through the kingdom of heaven. The congestion and traffic of the city slowly give way to roads that cut through uninhabited and uncultivated land. The terrain is rocky and dry; it is sunbathed in shades of copper, gold and bronze. There is perhaps nothing that survives on these lands; every little sprout of green is charred to death by the sun, Apart from the cashew trees that grow here, there is barely a plant or tree in sight. There is also a scarcity of water. Some of these are grasslands; the long blades of dry yellow grass whose ends bow gently to the sun as the wind blows, are a pretty sight in the summer. The wind leaves behind a trail as it slithers through the grass, drawing wavy patterns on them. The invisible wind comes alive on these grasslands through the imprints and impressions that it leaves behind on the grass. These grasslands slowly give way to the hills that are greener. There are also occasional rubber plantations. The sun that shines radiantly on these laterite hills, the clouds that blanket the hill tops, the panoramic view of the hills, and the occasional sight of a river winding its way through the hills, accompany me on this journey. The hilltops present a view of the hills right down to the valley, and I cannot help feeling that I am gliding through the skies with a view of earth below. There is a godliness to this journey; it brings in a distance between me and my worldly life. I revel in these perceptions, fully aware that I will look back at these moments with reverence and nostalgia. I form strong imprints of these journeys; I am aware that they are experiences worth living for.

A few months ago, when this opportunity presented itself, I was not sure if I would be able to travel this distance. But the non-transactional nature of this endeavour got me interested in it. The individual who invited me for this endeavour, is a very interesting person. A self-made man, he is driven by the need to achieve a common good. The more I get to know him, the more valuable I find him. Despite being a businessman, he has his heart in the right place. He lives by certain principles and ideals. Most importantly, he has not forgotten the journey he has taken to get to where he is now. He has empowered his family members, friends, and community in many ways. He treats people well, and does not lose the human element in his interactions. When people are respected and treated well, it is easy to obtain their cooperation and contribution. Most businesses ignore this simple principle of human interactions. They fake an interest in people’s welfare, but it is easy to see through this. Ultimately, business interactions are also human relationships; the nature of the relationship you share with your employees, partners, and clients, goes a long way in determining whether you will thrive or perish. As a therapist, my client’s perception of our interaction, is often the most important determinant in my professional success; my technical services are secondary. Once a client has perceived an interaction as a relationship (in my case, a therapeutic relationship), they would not be easily motivated to seek another therapist. It is always the human element that we bring into interactions with people that drives commitment from clients and employees. This is the part that is profoundly lacking in work environments today.

My clients belong to two categories- simple village folk and teens. I am more comfortable with teens because I am more familiar with the adolescent context. However, I am discovering that I can strike a chord with people from a more rural context as well, because the language of suffering is the same. Their psychological needs and their aspirations resonate with me. As a therapist, I enjoy these deep accounts of human experience. On my way back, I often find myself lost in thought. I think about the challenges of the socioeconomic contexts of these times, the individual circumstances of my clients that put them at a disadvantage, the loneliness that people are struggling with, the inevitability of illness and death, the constraints that limit people, and the vulnerability that people struggle with. I feel it all; I feel it as I drive back home; I feel it in the company of the setting sun, the silence of the hills, and the comforting shade of the rubber plantations. At that moment, I cannot feel myself. I can only feel this universe of people and the phenomena of nature within me. The setting sun imparts a glow to this perception, and I feel a deep sense of contentment as I embody the suffering of all my clients. I feel happy to be alive. I feel happy to keep the glow in people’s minds. I feel that this glow is life- the glow that lights up our hearts, even when our lives are difficult. Just as I always had a universe to fill my life with this glow, I want all my clients to feel this glow.

I will never forget Perumbadavu and its people. I will never forget this phase of life. I will never forget the times when I had sprained my back, and yet, I drove down to Perumbadavu, simply because I did not want to miss out on the experience of these Wednesdays that have a surreal quality to them. Life in its simplest form, boils down to a time, a people, a land, and one’s perceptions.